دیدگاه ها . «پرواز»

  1. sara khanum bayad eghrar konam ke site zibayi dari…….vali bayad begam ke man faghat az bazi sherat khosham miad na hamash……dalil ham dare chon be nazare man har sheri dastan ya idehaye makhsoosi ro poshte khodesh penhan karde ke be nazare man faghat ghabele dark baraye nevisandas……baraye hamin age betooni bazi vaghta ye hinte koochik bedi aali mishe chon injoori shayad ma ham fahmidim ke mozoo chie. albate ghabool daram ke bazi sher ham ham niazi be in hinta nadaran. omidvaram ke movafagh bashi va asaare khoobi ro azat bebinim.

  2. سارا جون
    بر خلاف خانم سوزان من معتقدم که بزرگترین ویژگی شعرهای تو اینه که علی رغم اینکه کاملا خصوصی هستند اما در فضای عمومی ارائه می شن طوری که به هیچ وجه خواننده با اونها احساس بیگانگی نمی کنه
    این مطلب رو پیش از این هم برات در پایگاه خزه نوشته بودم
    امیدوارم فراموش نکنی
    و
    موفق باشی…

  6. با اجازهء تو
    انگشت تو
    از وطن خارج شده ام
    اما افسوس
    که حتی با امضای تو
    از اسارت خویش رها نتوانم شد
    از اسارت تو
    اسیری وطن ناچیز است در برار اسیری تو

  10. «…نفسم را پرِ پرواز از تست…»(*)
    «تمام مرزها را بسته‌اند…»
    اما
    «من با مرزهای بسته کاری ندارم…»
    همه می دانند
    پرِنده مرز نمی شناسد
    «بال» ها یش را اگر ببندد،
    «پرواز» که می ماند!!
    (*) «نیایش» از فریدون مشیری

  15. salAm Sarah, Soozan, Mehrnaz,
    ۱st: I loved this very latest poem of yours. It is short so before it gives the feeling that you are writing a prose or something, it remains a poem, very essential in my humble opinion.
    ۲nd: Dear Soozan, Even though I admire poets like Hafez or Nima or Shamlou, I still find a lot of their works that I do not enjoy reading so that it is pretty natural that you do not like all of what you read.
    ۳rd: Sarah jAn, you know that I am very supportive of your works and that is why I some times come here and write harsh words, I still believe that many of what you publish here are not 100% poetry (which I do not mind and you have no claim on them). I am saying that because your visitors come under the impression that because of the way you put the words beside each other they are supposed to be poems which IMHO is not true for all of them.
    ۴th: The Late Akhavan has many interesting writings about poetry in general and the works of Hafez, Nima, and Shamlou in particular which I recommend to everyone here. Some where he said the ‘man’ in many of Shamlou’s poems are universal ‘man’ so that is why others could connect to them. I agree 100% with Soozan about those writings which are too personal to find a vast audience, yet this latest work of yours, still imho ;) is pretty universal for us Iranians and yet it is regrettful too :(
    Anyhow, as I am a bitter writer for which I apologize, I would like to suggest you Sarah jAn, to work more on the wordings of your poems, that is one aspect missing from many of what I read in the journals and monthly publications and on the net. Shamlou is the master of word-order in the poems :)
    Last but not the least, I have to thank you for recording our contemporary history in your writings, this is an aspect of poetry and story writing which I value the most, for countires like us which do not have real historians, your works like this one or the one about the prostitue mother, are direct records of what is happening out side of which no one dares to talk or write about.
    bA sepAs,
    m&m
    PS: Puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez bear with me, if I want to write in Farsi alefba, I have to spend 10 times more and I do not want that hinders me from writing here if anyone cares at all ;)

  17. سلام. ما قابل نیستیم اما ای ولله عجب تفسیر و تصویری در ابیاتت جاریست. آنقدر سلیس است که پرش ماهی های کوچک و ظریف قند عسلی هم داخلش هویداست. قطعا سرکشی به کلبه شما کار هر روز من خواهد بود تا زمانی که کرکسان راه را بر ما مبندند.

  18. نام ات… نام ات را بگو… شاید این بار بشناسم… نمی دانم… نیستی و من مثل همیشه کتاب های ام را جا گذاشته ام… بی تو می روم… از پشت خط نگاه ام می کنی… تمام می شوم…

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